Whitman & Jazz
by gingerwhovianrobotskeleton
Summary: Lisa Simpson has achieved her goal of getting into Yale. Springfield's far behind her, and she 's ready to begin her new life. But she finds that Sideshow Bob is one of her professors. As the two attempt to put aside their past hatred of each other, they find that they have a lot more in common than they realize. But can their new friendship last, or is it destined to fail?
1. First Class

**A while back, I watched the most recent Sideshow Bob episode where he and Lisa become friends because of shared interests. I thought it was really cute, and it reminded me of her friendship with Bleeding Gums Murphy.**

**One of the genres listed in this is romance, and it will eventually turn into a love story between Bob and Older Lisa. But 80% of this will mostly be focused on their friendship. If you don't feel comfortable reading this, you can move on to another story. I won't be offended **

**DISCLAIMER: The Simpsons belong to Fox and Matt Groening. I claim nothing!**

….

"Ow!"

Lisa gasped. Her attempts to stay quiet were foiled.

She was far too excited to go to sleep, so she got up and started reading at her desk. She had her lamp on the lowest setting and was even turning the pages as slowly as possible. She was trying to cross her legs and her foot accidentally slipped and hit the hard wood. It was displeasing to her and the roommate who woke up from it. "What the-" the young woman glanced at her alarm clock and groaned. "It's two in the morning!"

"I'm sorry Meghan," Lisa looked sheepish. "I just wanted to get some early reading done in my textbooks before class."

The girl rolled her sleepy eyes and scratched the top of her red hair. "How do you even know where to start? You don't get your syllabus until the first lesson."

"I'm just reading the first few pages of each book so I can get a feel of each one," she grinned. "It's still a lot to absorb; the school I mean. I still can't believe I'm here."

Lisa had every right to be excited. She had applied to many of the top schools in the United States. Of course, they all accepted her because of her outstanding grades, but the grants and scholarship money she had gotten from the state weren't enough to cover all expenses. Either way she added it up, she would either not have enough for tuition, or enough to buy her textbooks. She was about to give up hope and settle on Springfield University until her father went to his boss, Mr. Smithers.

Smithers had taken over the Nuclear Power Plant as indicated in Mr. Burn's will. Even though the man saw Homer as nothing but a buffoon who caused most meltdowns, he had some respect for him as a family man and knew he loved his children dearly. With the money Burns left behind, Smithers started the C. Montgomery Burns Yale Scholarship program, and Lisa became its first recipient. With it, she could attend Yale for as long as her education permitted it.

Meghan yawned and got up so she was leaning on her elbows. "I'm happy for you, Lisa. But we're going to have to start setting some ground rules about stuff like this." She gave her a tired grin. "I'll let it slide this time since it's the first day, but next time let's try to save studying and reading time _before_ the midnight curfew."

The young blonde nodded. "Alright. I promise no more late night studying."

"Whoa," Meghan held up a hand interrupting her. "Don't do that either. Let's just promise to leave late night studying for midterms and finals. My older brother says that's when we'll really need it."

Lisa giggled. "Deal."

Her roommate bid her goodnight and settled back into bed, pulling the cover over her head and facing the blank wall behind her.

Lisa felt bad immediately. Here was a girl she could finally connect with, and she was close to ruining that relationship. _Or maybe I'm being too overdramatic_, she thought. Still, she quietly turned off her lamp and closed her textbook before climbing into bed. She reached under her bed and pulled the flashlight out of her emergency box. She scolded herself for not thinking of using the flashlight before. Then again, she wasn't used to sharing a room with someone else.

She pulled the thick cover over her head and turned on the flashlight as she began to read the book for her first class, which was a collection of Walt Whitman's poems and other stories; her favorite author.

...

_The cops tightened the clamps on his wrist and ankles. Chief Wiggum was soaking his now bald head, which had to be shaved because his hair was too thick and would've absorbed all of the water from the sponge. His heartbeat raced as they lowered the metal cap onto his head. _

_Reverend Lovejoy stood next to him, reading the Lord's Prayer from his bible as the felon looked ahead at the two-way mirror in front of him. He could only see his reflection, but if he thought hard enough, he could see the people sitting behind it. The grief-stricken mother crying into her husband's shoulder, the husband comforting her with despair written all over his face. The young girl staring back at the convict with angry tears. She probably thinks he can't see her, but she would be dead wrong. A few of the victim's other family members would be there too as well as some townspeople who wanted to see justice brought down on the man who murdered the bratty, yet innocent young boy._

_He didn't notice the pastor had left until Chief Wiggum had asked almost tauntingly, "Any last words, Sideshow Bob?"_

_He wanted to scream that he didn't do it, yet he also wanted to gloat about how the boy had it coming to him. It was very conflicting, and he couldn't make sense of it. Maybe he had finally gone mad. But before he could even utter, "I..." the other cop had pulled the lever..._

The alarm blared loud enough for the whole apartment complex to hear. Bob's eyes snapped open, and he stuck a fist out to hit the off button. He quickly sat up, breathing slowly to try and calm his fast heartbeat. This wasn't the first time he had had that vivid dream. Sometimes it would be Krusty the Clown mocking him instead of Chief Wiggum. Every time he woke up from it, he would go through the mental list of what was true and what was false.

_You are not in prison anymore,_ he reminded himself. _And as far as you know, Bart is still alive._

It was true. No matter how dastardly or ingenious his plans were, he never achieved his goal of killing Bart. He had long ago moved on from revenge and made a new life for himself. Unfortunately, something inside of him wouldn't move on from it and in turn caused his heart wrenching nightmares. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He was brought out of his meditation by the sound of chiming bells mimicking the ones heard in Big Ben. It was coming from the Yale campus. Once more, he glanced at his alarm clock which said it was seven in the morning. He quickly got out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom. He took a quick shower, brushed his teeth, and shaved off the stubble growing under his chin. He shook his hair dry, and ran his fingers through them once to make his signature spikes stick out.

For the first day, he settled on a light pink button-up shirt with a maroon tie and medium brown suit jacket and pants. He quickly overlooked his paperwork and lesson plans before sticking them into his briefcase. He stopped at the mirror in the living room, giving himself a quick once over before leaving.

"Showtime."

...

Lisa was very happy that some of her classes were shared with Meghan. She considered her a mentor since she took a couple courses while still in high school, and her older brother James had graduated there the year before. As excited as she was, Lisa was still scared to be in a place where she didn't know anyone. She spent her whole life in Springfield, and the thought of being so far away from her family and friends was daunting. Lucky for her, Meghan was very understanding. She herself had moved from place to place her whole life since her father was in the military. She was beginning to feel like the big sister she never had.

Meghan was currently looking over her schedule as they walked towards the main building. "For your Algebra class, you're gonna want to avoid sitting in the front. James says Prof. Young spits a lot when he talks."

Lisa's face contorted in disgust. "Dully noted."

"And for Chemistry 101, pay extra attention to Prof. Norman's lectures. That's where all the extra credit stuff in her exams come from."

"Anything else?"

Her roommate shrugged. "That's just the ones I know about. You're a Science major and my focus is education. We're not gonna have as many classes together."

"I see," she frowned, but only a little, as Meghan gave her back her schedule. "What about English 101?"

"All I know is that the professor we have started last year," she replied. "James only met him a couple of times, and he says he seems pretty arrogant."

Lisa looked at her schedule and found the professor's name. _R. Terwilliger_. "Hmmm," she mused aloud. "The name sounds familiar, but I can't seem to figure out where."

"Well, we'll find out soon enough," was Meghan's reply.

The two girls quickly filed into the main building. They didn't make it to the elevator in time, so they had to rush up the stairs. They were out of breath by the time they got to the fourth floor. They both promised next time to finish breakfast early.

The classroom had the standard brown walls with very few motivational posters; most of them involving a quote from Shakespeare. Instead of individual desks, there were long tables on each floor level just as Lisa always imagined. The girls took seats in the front of the classroom just a few feet away from the teacher's desk.

Lisa turned and watched as other students filled the room. To her, they all seemed so cultured and refined, and some of the boys looked pretty cute. She could feel the giddiness bubble in her stomach. She was about to start her first class at a top Ivy League school. She was at a place she could finally belong, and she felt as if nothing could stand in her way.

"Alright everyone, sit down," a deep voice called out and the students that were still standing quickly got in their seats.

Lisa's spine went rigid. The rest of the noise in the room almost went mute as her senses focused on one voice in particular. _It couldn't be..._ She quickly turned to face the professor who had set his suitcase on his desk. Lisa's eyes went wide. She could recognize that face, voice, and head of hair anywhere.

Her mind began clicking like a fast-motion calculator. R. Terwilliger... the 'R' stood for Robert, and the shortened version of Robert was Bob

Sideshow Bob.


	2. Homesick

**In this fic, the timeline is set 10 years after "The Great Louse Detective". Bob still goes to Italy, but the Simpson family never visit him.**

...

"Aaaah! S-"

It was like a reflex. Luckily she was able to stop before she said his full name. Lisa looked around the room to see everyone staring at her as if she was crazy. When her eyes fell back on the professor, he had the same expression. She wrapped her fingers together, and laughed nervously. "I... thought I saw a spider." She quickly sat back down.

She didn't dare look back at the room again. She heard a few inaudible whispers and chairs shuffling (She assumed it was to keep away from the non-existent spider). Meghan, on the other hand, stayed still and acted like nothing happened. Before she could sink into her chair and hopefully turn invisible, Prof. Terwilliger approached the table and looked down at her.

"Young lady, I don't know what your high school taught you, but here we don't interrupt lessons with frivolous outbursts," he said, glaring at her slightly.

"But you haven't started the lesson yet," she corrected.

"Is that so?" he scratched his chin. "Well then, let me start by handing out your lesson plans for the semester." He quickly grabbed a small stack of papers from his suitcase and a red pen. He scribbled something on the top paper and handed it to Lisa.

Lisa read the syllabus and noticed he added an assignment to it: _One-thousand word essay about respecting class time and the professors that teach them. _And it was due the next class! She looked at her teacher bewildered. "But that's unfair!"

"Do you want the rest of the class to have the same assignment?" he asked threateningly, the red pen hovering over the rest of the syllabuses.

She quickly sucked her lips between her teeth and shook her head.

"That's what I thought." He tucked the pen into his suit jacket and handed the syllabi out to the rest of the room.

Lisa skimmed through the first page, not really reading the words typed in. This all seemed so surreal. Sideshow Bob had terrorized her family for a few years when she and Bart were children. The last time she had seen him, he had helped the police track down the man who tried to murder her dad. After the police ended his sentence, he seemed to have vanished into thin air. Lisa had almost forgotten about him, until now. She wondered if he remembered who she was. If he did, he hid it pretty well.

"Alright class," the professor began, walking back to the front of the room. "My name is Professor Terwilliger, and I welcome you to English 101. As you all have just witnessed, I don't like to waste class time. Any unnecessary interruptions will resort in extra assignments and points taken off your participation grade." He shot a quick disapproving look at Lisa - who slinked further into her chair - then diverted his attention to the chalkboard behind his desk. "Fifty percent of your grade accounts for the essays I assign, and twenty-five percent is for quizzes and class discussions. Of course mid-terms and finals will effect that grade tremendously, but that's a moot point." He wrote the percentages on the board as he talked.

The rest of the class went off without anymore incidents. Most of it was spent going over the syllabus and their first assignment was reading the first chapter in their textbooks. For Lisa, that was two assignments she had to do. Despite the embarrassing moment, she thought the class was good so far. While Professor Terwilliger was strict, Lisa knew he was already a great educator. He proved his intelligence on more than one occasion during their past encounters, so it wasn't a surprise at all.

Once he dismissed the class, Lisa stayed in her seat. "I'll meet you for lunch," she told Meghan just before she left the room. Once everyone in the room had left, Lisa got up from her seat and walked over to the professor's desk where the older man sat, writing notes in his agenda. "Um, Professor Terwilliger..." it felt strange not calling him by his stage name. "I wanted to apologize for earlier."

"An apology will not excuse you from that essay, Miss Simpson," he said flatly, not looking up from his notebook.

"I know, but I felt I should say it anyway," she paused once she realized he had called her by her last name. "Do you remember me?"

"Your hair is no longer spiky, but your voice is still quite girlish," he then looked at her. "And that was the first time anyone's screamed at the sight of me in years."

She gave an embarrassed chuckle. "Well, it was quite unexpected... What are you doing here anyways?"

"I've turned over a new leaf since our last encounter," he said casually. "To make a long story short, I decided instead of acting out revenge and spending life in prison, I would make the world better by influencing impressionable minds."

"But how could you get hired? Didn't the school do a thorough background check?"

"Of course they did," he folded his hands together, a small smile on his face. "Lucky for me, the only trace of my arrest record they found was from being involved with Cecil's embezzlement scheme, which you and I both know I had _no_ involvement in."

Lisa was perplexed. "You mean they couldn't find the rest of it?"

"Don't be so surprised, Lisa. It's the Springfield Police Department after all."

"Touché."

Bob got out of his chair so he was at height level with her. He said sincerely, "Lisa, if you're wondering if I have an ulterior motive, your worries are futile. Seeing you here was as much a shock to me as it was for you. I give you my word that I am a changed man."

Her gut instinct told her to be cautious, but she didn't sense a trace of malice or deceit in his words. Maybe the last few years _have_ helped him change his ways. He didn't have as many worry lines as before, and his eyes looked a little brighter. She sighed. "I guess I have no choice but to take it. But I'm still slightly suspicious."

He shrugged. "As is your right. Although," he held up a finger, "I do ask that you don't tell anyone about my past. I could lose my job if all of that got out."

"It's a promise," she said, "Just as long as you don't tell anyone about my family."

"It's a deal."

They both shook on it just as the big school bell rang outside. "Oh no, I'm late!" Lisa quickly ran out of the room just as Bob's next batch of students came into the room.

...

Once all of his classes were over with, Bob took the short walk back to his apartment. Overall it was a successful first day. Not as many troublemakers as he expected, and he was able to put the fear of God into a few of them. But despite it all, he couldn't help but think about his newest student.

He had recognized Lisa the instant he saw her. Her face resembled her mother's almost exactly. The way she reacted to seeing him only confirmed who she was, and that she recognized him too. He shouldn't have been surprised she was here. He always knew Lisa was the smartest Simpson of the whole bunch. Hell, she was one of the few intelligent people in Springfield. But part of him wondered what her being here would mean for him.

He was reminded of the nightmare he had that previous night. He always thought the theory of dreams alluding to the future were ludicrous, and he didn't want to think he should have seen his past catching up with him. He was right when he told Lisa he was a changed man. He didn't have any desire to go back to Springfield and murder Bart or anyone else. So why was he still killing him in his dreams? He had considered going to therapy for it, but was too fearful of being thrown in a mental ward.

He unlocked the door to his apartment. Once inside, he leaned against the door for a moment, looking at his surroundings. The white walls were a little too bright for his taste, so he had bought poster copies of some famous artworks and hung them in poster frames. It wasn't the fanciest apartment, but it was good enough for him. Then again, any place that wasn't the Springfield Prison was better than nothing.

After cooking himself a small bowl of ham and potato soup, he settled onto the couch and watched PBS programming. It was lonely moments like these that he missed his life in Italy, where he spent most of the last decade after leaving Springfield. He had a very good life in Salsiccia, and a loving family. If things had worked out better, Francesca would be curled up with him on the couch as they watched Masterpiece Classics, and Gino either playing with his toys or fast asleep next to them. As usual, life didn't work that way.

His job as a professor was the only good thing that had happened to him since his son was born. Maybe if this job went well enough, he could go back to Italy and win his family back. He hoped more than anything for that to happen, just as long as the Simpson girl kept her mouth shut.

"This is going to be a long semester."

...

Lisa was stuck staring at the screen of her laptop. With a little luck, she was able to churn out 850 words about respect for others and educators. She typed out benefits of respect and even provided examples in history on where respect was neglected. She had just run out of juice and couldn't think of anything else to add.

"You could try putting the lyrics to that Aretha Franklin song in there," Meghan joked as she flipped to the next page of her book.

"I think that counts as plagiarism." Lisa had already finished the reading assignment, as well as some of the short assignments from her other classes of the day. She intentionally saved Bob's extra assignment for last since she figured it would be the hardest.

Meghan finished reading her book and sat up on her bed. "How about you take a short break and let your brain rest. The essay isn't due until Wednesday and you're almost done with it anyways."

She sighed, and got up to collapse on her bed. "Lousy arrogant jerk," she muttered.

"He's not _that_ bad," her roommate said. "I mean, sure the penalty assignment was pretty harsh, but it could've been worse... Where did you see that spider anyway?"

Quickly she said, "Under the chalkboard. It was kind of small."

Meghan's eyes widened a little. "You must have some killer eyesight because I couldn't see it anywhere."

"Heh heh, yeah... Good eyesight," Lisa forced a smile.

Meghan stood up from the bed. "You still wanna come to the coffee house to meet a couple of guys from my French class?"

Lisa shook her head. "I'm starting to get a headache from this essay."

The other girl sighed. "You're not gonna spend the rest of your college career in classes and studying are you?"

"That's how I've always spent my time, except when I was in band."

"Well you should at least keep your Fridays and Saturdays open to party," she then handed her a piece of paper on her desk. "There's also a lot of clubs here. I think you might like some of them." She bid her roommate farewell just before leaving.

Reluctantly, Lisa glanced over the list of clubs she was handed. There were quite a few, and some of them piqued her interest. Jazz band, Literature club, Future Environmentalists of America (which would go well with her major), and drama club. Before Lisa could think it over, a ringing noise came from her laptop.

She sat up and saw she was receiving a video call. She hit the green button and her mother's face popped up. "Hi honey!"

"Hi mom!" Lisa quickly got up and sat in her desk chair. "It's so good to see you!"

"Same here, sweetie," Marge smiled sweetly. Lisa had only been gone a couple of days, and she already missed her mother's smiles. Even though she had a few wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, Lisa still thought she was the prettiest woman ever. "How is my little college girl doing?"

"Oh mom, it's the most wonderful thing ever!" she exclaimed. "It's so different from grade school. Everyone here is just as smart as I am, the professors challenge me intellectually, and all the covers on my textbooks are still intact."

"Oh that's so wonderful! I am so proud of you! I bet those professors love having such a smart girl in their classes."

"I don't know about all of them," a small frown formed as she thought of Sideshow Bob. She quickly put her smile back on remembering she was on a video phone.

Of course, Marge's mothering super power didn't miss it. "Did something happen?" she asked concern.

Lisa wanted to tell her mother about Bob, but she had promised him she wouldn't. If she did, Marge would most likely call the school and tell them about Bob's history with her family. He would get fired for sure. Still, she couldn't lie to her mother.

"It's just... I kind of interrupted a teacher today and he gave me an extra assignment as punishment." _Not lying at all_, she told herself.

"Oh, I see," her mother nodded. "What's the assignment?"

"One-thousand words on respect. I have most of it done."

"Oh, I know," Marge grinned. "What if you referred to the song by Aretha Franklin?" She added a chuckle. "I'm sure he would find that very clever."

Lisa giggled, shaking her head. "Mom, I don't think-"

"_What you want? Baby I got it! What you need? You know I got it!_" Lisa instantly recognized her father singing in the background of the video.

Marge groaned. "Sounds like your father just got back from Moe's."

To prove her point, her father's face popped into view of the video. "Hey Marge! Guess what happened to me today?"

"Homer, Lisa's on the computer."

He glanced at the screen and smiled at the sight of his daughter's face. Homer had aged a little more than Marge did in the past ten years. "Hi sweetie. How's Harvard?"

"It's Yale, Dad."

"Of course," he laughed. "Are you making any new friends there?"

"Well, my roommate has been very nice to me," she replied. "What's the good news that happened to you today?"

"I got a promotion at work!" he announced proudly. Both women congratulated him, and Marge gave him a tight hug and kiss on the cheek. "It's an office position that just opened up. Mr. Smithers says my skills are best suited _far away_ from safety inspection."

"That's really great dad," Lisa smiled. She then remembered her siblings. "How are Bart and Maggie doing?"

"They're doing great," her mother replied. "Bart moved out this weekend into Milhouse's apartment. He really loves his construction job. And Maggie is loving second grade. She's also getting better at the guitar Bart got her for her birthday."

"Can you imagine Maggie growing up to be a rock star?" Homer added. "She'd be all..." he jumped back a few steps and started air guitaring. "_Just a little bit! Just a little bit! R-E-S-P_... um..." he paused, trying to remember the lyrics.

Marge just laughed. "I think your father is a little _too_ excited tonight."

Lisa laughed with her. Seeing her parents like this was making her homesick. Why couldn't Yale be closer to home?

"Well sweetie, I'd hate to cut this conversation short, but I need to go pick up Maggie from Aunt Selma's house," Marge stated. "She was spending the afternoon with cousin Ling."

"Alright," she replied. "Give everyone a hug and tell them I miss them."

"Will do," Homer said for her. "Bye sweetie! We love you!"

"I love you all, too."

Lisa ended the call. As she leaned back into her chair, she started to feel sad about being away from her family. Taking Meghan's advice, she saved her almost finished essay and decided to leave it for tomorrow. She grabbed her saxophone from under her bed and started jamming on it. The sax usually made her feel better, but it wasn't the same without her dad shouting at her to stop playing.

_This is going to be a long semester_.

...

**Lyrics are from "Respect" by Aretha Franklin. They do not belong to me**


	3. Friday Night

**I've never been to Yale, and I'm not sure if they have any fraternities/sororities. If not, let's pretend for the sake of this fic.**

...

"Can anybody tell me what Johannes Gutenberg is famous for?" Bob asked his class.

Immediately, Lisa's hand shot up in the air. She heard other hands go up behind her, but didn't bother to see how many. _If I can manage eye contact with him, he might pick me_, the young girl thought.

"Mr. Parkfield?"

_D'oh!_ Lisa turned in her seat to see a young man with light brown hair three rows behind her.

"He was the inventor of the movable printing press," he answered.

"Correct."

Lisa held back the urge to growl under her breath. This was the third class with her infamous professor. After her agreement to keep Bob's past a secret, an unsaid agreement was made that Lisa would treat him just like she would any other teacher at this school. It seemed to her that Bob was taking it a step further, acting as if she wasn't there. Every question he asked the class, Lisa knew the answer to and he hadn't called on her yet. More often than not, he was answering questions from Hugh Parkfield rather than her. That annoyed her the most.

Bob continued, writing on his chalkboard once more. "Gutenberg's invention was an important event of the modern period, and paved the way for the Renaissance, the Age of Enlightenment, and the Scientific revolution, making learning available for the masses. If you could read and write, that is." He turned to face his students. "If it weren't for this man, we wouldn't have many of the books that exist today. From the masterpieces of William Shakespeare and Edgar Allan Poe to the inadequate taste of today's young adult novels." The last few words were said with a bitter tone.

Lisa would've argued that not all young adult novels were in terrible taste, but that would be "interrupting class time". So she kept quiet.

"As I walk around the room, I want you to pick a name out of this hat," he grabbed a fedora filled with tiny slips of paper and began to walk to each individual desk. "The name you pick will be the subject of your first research paper of the year. I remind you that sources such as Wikipedia will not be accepted, and including it as such will be a letter grade off of your assignment."

Once he got to Lisa's desk, the girl didn't make eye contact as she pulled a paper slip out of the hat and he moved on. After a moment, she unfolded it and was relieved by the choice she got. Once the professor had all the slips passed out, he dismissed the class and everyone began to leave.

"So who did you get?" Meghan asked once the girls were out of the classroom.

"Walt Whitman. You?"

"Jane Austen," she said with a shrug. "She's really good, but I was kind of hoping for someone else."

"I don't think Professor Terwilliger would put Stephenie Meyer as an essay topic," said another voice. Both girls turned to see Hugh walking behind them.

"It's none of your business, but I was hoping to get C.S. Lewis," Meghan sneered.

"Who told you it was okay to eavesdrop on someone else's conversation?" asked Lisa.

The man replied smartly, "It's not considered eavesdropping if you're speaking loud enough for everyone to hear."

"Still doesn't mean anyone asked for your opinion," was her retort.

"Unless it's Terwilliger," he grinned evilly and walked on without hearing Lisa's reply.

Lisa finally let out the growl she had been holding in all morning. "Ugh! What is his problem?"

"Just ignore him," Meghan advised as they walked on. "Hugh just thinks he's better than everybody because he has an English accent."

"It's not just him," she said. "I'm tired of being overlooked in… Terwilliger's class." Sometimes Lisa had to pause before saying his name because of the old habit to calling him Sideshow Bob. "I'm just as smart as the other students. If he doesn't call on me, I could lose points in class participation."

"I don't think the grade works that way," her roommate thought aloud. "But he's probably being like that because of your outburst a few days ago. I'd give it a couple of weeks to blow over."

"Maybe," Lisa wasn't so sure. Even though Bob had told her he didn't have any plans to torment her or her family, she couldn't help but feel this was his way of getting back at her all those years ago. She _was _pretty much the mastermind when it came to foiling his schemes after all.

"And all he's doing is not picking you when you raise your hand," Meghan added. "It's not like he's going to give you bad marks on assignments."

Lisa paused in the middle of the building's doorway. _Oh crap..._

...

Later that day, Lisa took Meghan up on an offer to go hang out with some friends. She usually did her homework on Friday nights so she would be free for a whole weekend, but her roommate insisted on putting it off so she could have a little fun. She eventually caved in and set her alarm early so she could work on it Saturday morning.

"Which earrings do you think?" asked Meghan, holding up a pair of gold hoops and green dangling emeralds.

"I'd go with the emeralds," Lisa suggested. "They'll look good with your hair."

The red head nodded in agreement, putting in her earrings in front of the mirror. "What are you going to wear?"

Lisa looked down at her blue jeans and V-neck orange blouse she had been wearing all day. "I'm okay in this."

Meghan shrugged at the mirror. "That looks fine. Didn't figure you were the type to get overdressed for a party."

Lisa arched an eyebrow. "You didn't say we were going to a party."

"Really?" she turned away from the mirror and walked to her dresser.

"Yes. You said we were going to hang out with some friends."

"Going to a party and hanging out with friends is sometimes the same thing," Meghan defended. "Didn't you go to any parties in high school?"

"Not really," Lisa frowned. "My brother threw a few parties when my parents were out of town. I was mostly there to make sure nothing got broken and to block all the bedrooms."

"It'll be fine," she assured. "For once, _you'll_ be the one getting to have fun."

"I don't know," the blonde shook her head. "My dad made me watch _Animal House_ a few times."

Meghan snorted. "Hollywood over-exaggerates everything. Just stick with me, and everything will be great."

Lisa just nodded, still unsure. "I'll take your word for it."

After Meghan finished getting dressed, wearing a green short-sleeved sweater with a brown skirt, the girls made their way to Greek row. It was only six in the evening yet Lisa saw a bunch of other students walking about the streets. _I thought it was cool to be _late_ to a party_, she thought.

The house they stopped at was a fraternity called Kappa Pi. By the time the girls got to the door, they could already hear the music blaring. Once inside, they saw quite a lot of people. The house had plenty of space with fraternity banners and posters on the walls. The living room had dozens of chairs and couches with a fireplace, and most of the seats were taken by students either talking or kissing. The girls headed straight for the kitchen where the refreshments were.

"Hey Anthony!" Meghan called out.

"Hey there," said a buff guy in a Kappa Pi sweater as he walked over to the girls. He had short blonde hair and a small nose. He reminded Lisa of her ex-boyfriend Nelson, except his teeth were straighter.

Meghan gave the guy a hug before introducing him. "Lisa, this is Anthony. He's a friend of my brother's and president of this fraternity house."

"Nice to meet you Lisa," Anthony smiled, holding out his hand.

"You too," she replied shaking it.

"You want a beer?" he asked, holding up his can of Duff.

Lisa politely shook her head. "I'm fine, but thank you." Lisa could never stand the taste of beer. Nelson had her try one once in high school, and one can almost made her throw up. She wondered why Homer liked it so much.

He then offered it to Meghan, who just wanted a sip. She didn't seem grossed out by the taste. "Is this your first time at a frat party?" he asked.

"Yeah," Lisa admitted with a laugh.

"Don't worry," Anthony said. "The fraternities here are more controlled and supervised than most. Everyone is only allowed two beers, and the rest of the night you have to drink the juice from the punch bowl."

"That's not what happened at Omega last year," Meghan joked.

"Yeah, well Omega was the reason we enforced these rules."

Lisa laughed along with them. _This is nice_, she thought. The three of them then talked about school. Anthony was a 5th year senior with a major in Chemistry. He wanted to work with genetically modified foods. She thought that was terrific and mentioned the times she volunteered at the medical and science departments in Capital City.

"And what's your major?" he asked her.

"Environmental science," said Lisa. "My goal is to stop pollution and enforce safety regulations of our nuclear facilities."

"Oh? What got you interested in that?"

"Well, my father worked as a safety inspector at a Nuclear Power Plant-"

Before Lisa could continue, another guy in a frat sweater came up and whispered something in Anthony's ear. When he left, Anthony gave a sheepish smile. "Sorry to leave you girls, but I have some pledge duties to attend to."

The girls gave their farewells as he walked away.

"So what do you think of him?" Meghan asked once he was out of earshot.

"He seems very nice," she replied. "How long have you known him?"

"He and James were pledges together." She then pulled out her cellphone and asked devilishly, "Do you want his number?"

Lisa blushed. "What?"

"I could totally tell you were into him."

"No I wasn't," she argued.

"Oh, come on," her roommate insisted. "You two look cute together."

Lisa bit her lip. She thought he was handsome, but she didn't think Anthony would be interested in her. "I'm gonna go get some punch," she changed the subject. "You want any?"

"Nah, I'm cool."

Lisa quickly walked to the counter where the punch bowl and cups were located. She poured herself a cup and looked over at the snack counter. Most of it was pigs in a blanket and meat slices with toothpicks in them. She opted for the carrot bowl and celery sticks.

The next two hours she spent with Meghan talking with people from her classes. The music was fairly loud so she had to strain her ears to hear everyone. At one point, the Kappa Pi pledges gathered together and sang a Lady Gaga song a cappella while wearing girl's one-piece bathing suits. It was a fairly entertaining ritual, and aside from that, the party was uneventful.

Lisa was having an okay time and having great conversations with people, but then she started to get an ache in the pit of her stomach. Her vision felt a little off as well. Was she getting sick? She left Meghan really quickly to go find a glass of water. She rinsed out her plastic cup before filling it up. She looked over by the punch bowl and spotted something odd.

One of the guys from the party was standing a little too close to the punch bowl. She noted that he was wearing a blue fraternity sweatshirt, unlike Anthony's maroon one. When he walked away, Lisa saw the punch looked a little more see-through than before. The lightbulb went off fairly quickly.

Someone was spiking the punch bowl!

All Lisa had was three cups of that punch. The reason she was feeling bad was because she was drunk. _Oh God_, she thought distressed. She took a quick gulp of her water and went off to find Meghan or Anthony. Meghan wasn't where she last left her, and Lisa was feeling a little too dizzy to differentiate all the guys in the maroon sweaters. She decided just to tell the first maroon sweater she saw. It wasn't Anthony though. This guy had black hair and paler skin.

"Excuse me, I think someone spiked the punch bowl," she told him.

The guy looked surprised. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, the guy had a blue sweater on." The words felt weird coming out of her mouth. What kind of alcohol was in that punch?

The guy glared momentarily. "I bet it's those Omega guys." He looked back at Lisa and noticed she must've had some of the punch. "Are you feeling okay? Do you need me to find one of the pledges to walk you to your dorm?"

She closed her eyes a moment. She didn't want to ruin anyone else's fun so they could 'walk the drunk girl home'. She opened her eyes again, and saw the room was a little clearer. She still felt dizzy, but she could see where the door was. "It's okay," she told him. "I can get back from here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she assured, "My dorm isn't that far away. Just tell Meghan Thompkins I went home." She gave him a small salute before heading towards the door. _A salute?_ She scolded herself. _How dorky can you be?_

...

The sky was beginning to darken. It took on a cerulean color before it would eventually go black. It was the time of day Bob loved the most. He had just gotten out of a late meeting with other members of the English department and decided to enjoy the fresh air. The weather was just beginning to cool, and he was happy that autumn was on its way. He wasn't fond of the summer months. His thick hair would make his scalp sweaty and itchy very often. He had it cut a few times in his childhood, but it would grow back just as quickly as it was snipped. Not to mention he looked more like a red-headed version of his brother Cecil. He also loved scarves, sweaters, and the smell of pumpkin and hot chocolate. His mother used to make the best hot cocoa for him and Cecil when they were younger.

_Maybe I should go to London and see them for Christmas_, he thought to himself. It had been years since he made contact with his parents. He hadn't spoken to his brother since he was released from prison the last time. He figured it was for the best. His parents probably wouldn't want to speak with him for getting Cecil in jail anyways.

He was only one street away from his apartment when he walked by Greek row. He saw lots of students walking the streets and some traveling from house to house. It reminded him of his old college days. He never pledged a fraternity, but he did go to many of the parties they held. He was about to walk on when he heard a groan.

He saw, a few feet away, someone sitting on a bench and clutching their head. Taking on the role of concerned adult, he went to see what was wrong. "Are you alright?" he asked the person on the bench.

The women looked up at him, and Bob instantly recognized Lisa Simpson. "Hey, it's Sideshow Bob!" she said with a goofy smile.

Bob's eyes widened. He quickly looked around to make sure no one heard her. Lucky for them, everyone was too far away to hear or care. He then took notice of the way her eyes were half open. "Miss Simpson, are you drunk?"

She laughed a little. "Not a whole bunch," she assured. "I'm just what my dad would call 'buzzed.'"

He crossed his arms and scolded, "Aren't you a minor?"

"It wasn't on purpose," she defended. "Someone spiked the-" she paused and quickly turned in her seat to vomit in the bush behind the bench.

Bob turned his head away from the smell. The part of him who spent years hating the Simpsons told him he should walk away and leave the girl to face her own mistakes, but the gentleman side would not allow it. There was no telling who she could run into out here. Gingerly, Bob knelt over to rub Lisa's shoulder as she coughed.

"Come on," he said once she was done. "Let's get you some coffee."

Lisa wasn't sure if she should let him help her, but there was no one else around and Bob seemed sincere enough. She pulled away from the bench, letting him hold her hand as she stood up. "Your hand feels warm," Lisa accidentally slurred.

Bob ignored it and led her up the street. She was following him pretty well. He was grateful he didn't have to prop her up with his arm under her's or anything like that. It was bad enough he was holding her hand. Any students or teachers walking by would get the wrong idea. They stopped at the closest coffee house just off of campus. Bob let Lisa go to the bathroom to clean off and he ordered the drinks. He also bought some danishes so she could get some food in her stomach. By the time she got back, Bob and the drinks were sitting at a small table by the bookshelf in the corner.

The two didn't talk for a few minutes as they drank. Lisa waited until the room stopped spinning enough to say something. "Thank you for your help, Professor Terwilliger."

"Lisa, the two of us have known each other for years," he assured. "Outside of class, you can call me Bob."

"Okay then," she said. "Thank you, Bob."

"You're very welcome," he replied. "I hope the danish is okay. I figured you wouldn't want one of those meat sandwiches."

"You remembered I was a vegetarian?" she asked amazed.

"Well, I did spend a week living in your home," he corrected. "Sometimes you remember the most random things."

"I guess so," she shrugged. They went silent once more as Lisa ate some of her danish and Bob drank some of his coffee. Then, Lisa decided to ask the question that had been nagging her brain all day. "Are you going to lower my grade?"

Bob was taken aback that he almost choked on his coffee. He put his drink down and cleared his throat before responding. "I beg your pardon?"

"Are you going to give me bad grades on purpose?" she asked again.

He was disbelieved. "What on Earth gave you that idea?"

She looked away as she spoke. "Well, you never call on me in class even though my hand is raised. And I figured with everything that happened..."

He felt instant regret at her words. "Lisa," he said seriously, "I would never use what happened in Springfield as a reason to fail you. I take my job very seriously, and I treat you the same way I do my other students."

"Then how come you don't call on me in class?"

Bob had to chuckle at that. "I was giving the others a chance to answer the questions. I _know_ you know all of the answers."

"I don't want to answer every question," she admitted. "Just call on me once or twice is all I ask."

"Fair enough. I apologize for not doing so before." he took another sip of his coffee. "Speaking of class, who did you get for your research project?"

"Walt Whitman."

"Terrific," he complimented, then recited the first quote he could think of. "_This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise_-"

"-_riches,_" Lisa finished for him. "_Give alms to everyone that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy_."

"Why, Lisa Simpson," Bob said impressed. "I had no idea you were an aficionado of Walt Whitman."

The young girl blushed. "I wouldn't say _that_. I just read a lot of books. I also like J.R.R. Tolkien, William Shakespeare..."

"Ah, Shakespeare was a favorite among my household," he added. "Not to brag, but my mother was in many of those productions on the London stage."

"Do I know her?"

"Does the name 'Judith Underdunk' ring a bell?"

Lisa gasped. "_The_ Dame Judith Underdunk is your mother?! We watched some of her stage DVDs in high school! Her performance as Lady Macbeth was my favorite!"

He smiled at that. "Well, I'll be sure to tell her that the next time I see her."

The two continued their conversation as the evening went on. They discussed all the writers they liked and disliked, and some of their favorite books. Bob never knew he and Lisa had so much in common, but realized he shouldn't have been surprised that they had similar interests. As he's told himself before, she was the only Springfield resident he respected.

They had to be kicked out of the coffee house because they were about to close. Lisa felt better than earlier, but Bob still insisted on walking her back to the dorm. Most of the walk was in comfortable silence, but every now and then Lisa would look at the stars and name the many constellations she had memorized when she gained an interest in astronomy. Bob was impressed by her vast knowledge. Not even _he_ took the time to study all the stars in the known universe. They made it to Lisa's dorm building safely.

"Thanks again for everything," Lisa said.

"You're welcome again," he replied. "I suggest you head to bed first thing when you get to your room."

She agreed. The extra caffeine from the coffee was about to give her a headache. Before Bob could walk off, she called back to him. "Bob?"

He turned to face her. "Yes?"

"It was nice talking with you this evening," she said timidly.

He nodded. "Likewise on my part."

"Do you think if things were different, all those years ago I mean, we maybe could've been friends?"

"It's possible," he shrugged. "Although, I don't see why we can't start now."

She smiled. "Neither do I."

They both said goodnight to each other and Lisa walked into the building while Bob walked toward his apartment. Once Lisa made it to her room, she noticed it was empty. She quickly grabbed her phone and sent a text to Meghan letting her know she made it home safe. _Hopefully she's not too worried about me_. She changed into a pair of pajamas before collapsing onto her bed. She slept soundly that night, knowing everything was going to be just fine.

...

**I'm not sure if Bob was born in England or not, but I figured his parents would live there since his mother's a dame and a Shakespearean actress. And the quote is from "Leaves of Grass" by Walt Whitman.**


End file.
